Princess Chelsea interviews Ed Pie

Chelsea: How does it feel to be Lil’ Chief's 3rd oldest artist?

Ed: Fucking hell.

Chelsea: That’s true. How old are you?

Ed: I’ll be 35 in August. At least I’m honest about my age. How old is JB these days?

Chelsea: He’d be really upset if I told that. All I can say is that he’s older than 25.

Ed: Ha. You wait till you’re 35 Chelsea – you’ll be all miserable and shit, hanging out drinking Sauvignon Blanc’s with your other miserable 35 year old girlfriends – wondering was happened to your dreams. Just kidding – don’t ever be miserable Chelsea, it’s depressing. I have episodes of depression, but I’m not a miserable person. Anyway, do I look like the oldest person on the label?

Chelsea: No Ed, you look fine, you look a bit like James Blunt. Anyway, didn't you say in the last interview that you were 37? Whatever. You’re also very creative – do you come from a creative family?

Ed: I sound like James Blunt too. Yes, my family was very creative actually. My dad was very creative when coming up with racist names for brown skinned people. He was also very creative at the T.A.B, he could choose all kinds of horses to put bets on. He was also very creative with his chosen method of self-inflicted death.

Chelsea: Shit, sorry Ed.

Ed: It’s fine; I’ve got a great shrink at the moment. He’s says it’s ok for me to laugh about my Father’s death. Everyone has terrible things that have happened in their lives, if we can’t make gags about them, then there’d be nothing to laugh about.

Chelsea: Moving right along…what are you’re dreams and aspirations Ed? Have you achieved everything you want in your music?

Ed: Man, what is this interview? I’m not dying or anything!

Chelsea: Of course not (perish the thought) but what is there left that you want to do musically?


Ed: Well it’s unlikely that I’ve got many good songs left in me. Songwriters tend to peak in their mid-twenties anyway. My engineering and producing is getting better – but I’m probably just imagining that. My singing voice isn’t improving. I’m still pretty uncomfortable on stage. I’ve ‘outed’ some of my personal politics on the Pie Warmer album – whenever music artists do this there’s always some kind of backlash, so it’s doubtful whether that’s a good artistic path. I’ve always wanted to study medicine, but it’s a bit late for med school, and they don’t accept loonies anyway. I really love sailing. Maybe I’ll just get myself a little place by the sea and an old boat to fix up; like that Tim Robbins character in The Shawshank Redemption.

Chelsea: Ed you’re sounding kind of miserable?

Ed: Well I felt fine this morning.

Chelsea: You shouldn’t feel miserable Ed, you’ve just finished a fascinating new album. The album was reviewed in yesterdays Sunday Start Times – Grant Smithies awarded it 4 stars. Are you ok with 4 stars?

Ed: I’m pretty sure Grant operates the 4 out of 4 star system. Either that, or he sensibly leaves an extra star up his sleeve for proper overseas reissues like Jimi Hendrix, or The Smiths. Do you think Morrissey likes Hendrix? he must eh. Anyway, do albums get called ‘fascinating’? Isn’t that a word you’d use to describe an autobiography? Or some crazy statistics about how horny and perverted Christians really are?

Chelsea: I guess so. I think you’ll find that people will have trouble with defining the Pie Warmer album. They won’t really know what to say about it, in case they say the wrong thing. I could be wrong, but it appears that you’ve set up a series of ‘traps’ in the album whereby if a reviewer hadn’t listened to the album carefully, they may find themselves saying something really idiotic about it.

Ed: Mmm, fascinating. I think maybe you’ve listened to the album a bit too ‘carefully’. However, if I have inadvertently set a series of ‘traps’ to make album reviewers look idiotic, it may well be the best (and critically least sucessful) thing I’ve ever made! Seems kind of unlikely though…

Chelsea: Time will tell. Have you done any other press so far?

Ed: Bits and pieces. God, I’m getting paranoid now...

Chelsea: Don’t worry, and it’s ok to be paranoid, just don’t be miserable, right?

Ed: I’ve just put the album on.

Chelsea: Ok, cool. Maybe you can give us a blow by blow while you’re listening to it?

Ed: A what? Alright.

Chelsea: So you’re on the first track, The Fearsome Feeling right?

Ed: Yup, it’s 1 minute in.

Chelsea: There’s a bit of paranoia going on in that song?

Ed: Yeh, well love is scary shit.

Chelsea: Do you think that recreating a woman being attacked is an appropriate way to frame the fear that encompasses love?

Ed: Hey, a guy gets attacked later in the song as well. Fear in love knows no gender boundaries.

Chelsea: I see.

Ed: I’ve taken the album off, I don’t really want to listen to it.

Chelsea: That’s not a very good advertisement for the album Ed?

Ed: No, I guess it isn’t. I think a good many people might be doing the same thing when they get the album!

Chelsea: Fingers crossed Ed!

Ed: I just hope my album is cool enough.

Chelsea: Do you think it's important for albums to be cool?

Ed: Well, I was reading the NZ Musician magazine the other day, and there was a feature article on some retarded band. In the article they were dribbling on about how they weren't trying to be cool, and how making pop music wasn't about being cool. And I started thinking: are you sure you guys have chosen the right profession? I mean, in my estimation, pop music has everything to do with being cool. Whether being cool means 'x factor cool' like Michael Jackson, or 'so uncool they're cool' like The Carpenters. I was thinking, if these guys think pop coolness is unimportant, maybe they should give up music and become Physiotherapists or something? Pop music has everything to do with being cool. Whether pop music SHOULD be this way is an entirely different question - you're fighting millions of years of human evolution; Ug the caveman thinks Og the caveman's club is cool because it's swamp green and it's got sharp spikes and a cool blood splatter on it.

Chelsea: So where do you put yourself on this coolness scale Ed: Michael Jackson, or Richard Carpenter?

Ed: Sadly I fear that I fall in the no-mans-land in the middle somewhere - just like most pop musicians out there. Pop music is defiantly a young persons game, and it’s a testament to my unwavering delusions that I still even release material! I think my future might be in Children’s music.

Chelsea: What, children’s music filled with obscenities?

Ed: Ahhh, possibly. My youngest son Jim Jupiter (he prefers to be known as Tom) has started saying ‘fucking ho’ all the time – we’re actively trying to discourage him from doing this, he’s only just turned five. He’s really into Linkin Park – I’m hoping it’s just a phase. I reckon he’ll be over it by the time he’s six. Most kids stop listening to Linkin Park by the time they’re six, don’t they??

Chelsea: Yeh, actually most smart kids get over Linkin Park by the time they’re 3 or 4.

Ed: Shit, do you think Jim’s got some developmental issues?

Chelsea: Nothing to worry about - girls generally mature a bit faster than boys. By the time girls are five, they’re usually finished with Linkin Park and on to Slipknot, or even Metallica’s back catalogue.

Ed: Do you think I should get Jim a Slipknot album?

Chelsea: No. Don’t get him any Gangsta Rap either. It sounds like his mouth already needs to be washed out with soap! Chelsea: No Slipknot Sux - they’re from Iowa. I'd suggest that if you were going to buy him an obscene album that you would better off going for some early Wu-Tang Clan or Dr Dre so as to broaden his cultural horizons while also broadening his x rated vocabulary. Also I felt I should drop that in in case any overly PC (excuse the pun) people reading this interview think we are racist. On a different note - you'd be better off still washing his mouth out with soap.


Ed: You don’t hear that expression very often any more.

Chelsea: Oh, I think you’ll be hearing that a bit more often, especially in reviews of the Pie Warmer album

Ed: That’s a great idea for a press album photo – me washing my mouth out with soap!

Chelsea: Ewww, would you use real soap?

Ed: I guess so. I’d have to find some nice hippy soap made from oatmeal and mango or something. Are we finished yet?

Chelsea: Yes. Well done Ed, I look forward to the soap photo!

Ed: Thanks.

Chelsea: What are you watching on Youtube?

Ed: Everybody has probably seen this already. I think the song and the production is incredible. The video is amazing too – don’t be fooled by the title!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OE2l6CPna4M

Ed: And every man and his dog has seen this too. The creators of this deserve a Grammy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj-x9ygQEGA

Ed: My new favourite band. THE COMPLETE. Incompetent Texan Acid Improv – live on a PBS channel.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukjnrXTTvPY

Psychosis of Love

The Gladeyes and Jimmy Payday - Psychosis of Love

Little Pictures are OUT OF HERE

Hi everyone, my name's Mark and I play in Little Pictures. Johanna and I have big news, we've left New Zealand! We're going to be playing a 40 date tour of Europe, and then we're going to move to The Netherlands!

We're going just to get a new perspective on everything. New Zealand's awesome, and heaps of people have helped us out a lot, including Lil Chief. It'll be really sad to leave everyone behind, friends and family, but what the hell. We're young, we'll give it a go.

I'll keep posting stuff up around here, but check out our blog for a regularly updated tour diary: www.littlepicturesmusic.blogspot.com

Princess Chelsea in centre of cycle safety shitstorm

"The $1.8 million Big Little City marketing campaign to attract more domestic visitors to Auckland has made a big little faux pas in its first week.

A 60-second television commercial featuring 84-year-old Dick West with locks of silver hair cycling through the central city at daybreak has been changed following a complaint he was not wearing a safety helmet.

Anticipating there could be a complaint, campaign organiser Heart of the City filmed Mr West with and without a helmet.

Heart of the City chief executive Alex Swney said he preferred the version showing Mr West's hair. It showed him as a slightly whimsical, non-threatening, elder statesman waking up to a city with cameos from well-known locals, including chef Peter Gordon, musician Boh Runga and fashionista Denise L'Estrange-Corbet.

"It's a domestic campaign. We want people from Invercargill, Oamaru, Ashburton and Taumarunui to not be intimidated by Auckland," Mr Swney said.

Most of the advert was filmed with Mr West on a trailer, he said. Only in a brief shot of him cycling down O'Connell St without a helmet was he pedalling for real.

The commercials began a six-week run on May 17."

Source: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10574385

Princess Chelsea - Monkey Eats Bananas Music Video

Here is my very first music video for my song "Monkey Eats Bananas". Basically the plot follows along the same lines of most commercial music videos - I dance around and show off all my different outfits.

The video is directed by Jonathan Brunette and produced by JB and Joseph Harper or Joe 90s as people like to call him. The music video features a cameo by it's director plus of course Phil Collins, Bill O'Reilly, Corey Feldman-Haim and the now infamous 'Monkey' who also appears in a live music video for the band Still Flyin'.

Anyway Still Flyin' are this supergroup of talented musicians who play a trendy hyrbid of modern dance hall ska reggae type of stuff (forgive me I'm not an expert on the genre hence the word vomit) - many horns and dancing singing people on stage plus an extremely engaging and charismatic front-man. Still Flyin' features some of our friends from Architecture in Helsinki and The Ladybug Transistor.

While I'm on a tangent, Monkey appears in a Still Flyin' video - crowd surfing on a boogie board through manny thousands of people at Laneway Festival in Melbourne. Somehow he was was returned to me. Interestingly enough some footage of this same day is in my Monkey Eats Bananas video (the footage that is obviously not blue screen and where some moron is being all woohoooo Dunnerz4eva theres a camera here yess let me get in on it all up in my grill).

To be honest Monkey is a bit of a scene hopper and if you trawl the internet carefully enough you'll find photos of him with various different rock stars.

Anyways less namedropping and back to my shameless self promotion. NEW MUSIC VIDEO. We made it on a budget of $0 and some sandwiches. If I ever manage to get a NZ on Air grant I promise to make one set in Space / Underwater.

Also - Monkey eats Bananas is now available for download on Itunes.

A Rare and Irregular Ruby Suns track

There was a time about three years ago when I had a sudden inclination to write a song in Japanese for my girlfriend (her being part-Japanese). I stole some lines from a phrase book and pieced them together into a half-arsed song. Then my girlfriend got a letter saying that she'd been accepted to teach english - she left a month later and spent the next two years in Japan. The song remained just the ghost of an idea and faded into the ether...

Time passed...

I went from playing in the Tokey Tones to playing in the Ruby Suns. My friend Kiku heard me noodling about with a song one afternoon and was surprised to find that it was written in terribly-pronounced Japanese. Funnily enough, this was about the time that my girlfriend got back from Japan and I thought that maybe I would record a rough version of the song after all. I twisted Ryan (main Ruby Sun) to lend me his assistance for an afternoon. We recorded the drums and guitar together, then he sprinkled some of his indie-pop fairy dust over the rest of the track and we ended up with something halfway decent.

Hayden from bFM heard it and liked it enough to get it on their playlist, though the song was so short that DJs often weren't ready for it to end and it would result in a patch of dead-air while they figured out that it was time for them to start talking or put on another song. I listed the track as being by The Investigations (myspace page is here). But when the Ruby Suns needed a digital bonus track for the UK release of their first album and a bonus track for the Australian pressing, the track magically became a Ruby Suns track as well (though if you don't like it, then I'm happy for you to blame me rather than Ryan). It was enough to win the girlfriend back, but not enough to keep me in the Ruby Suns for much longer (though I did tour a bit with them and wrote about here). Pretty soon, I'd drifted into the Brunettes instead (yet another link, here! or you can read about it in the next issue of No Magazine).

Ryan then took the Ruby Suns on a search for the 'new sound' (excuse the Mighty Boosh reference, but do check out the Ruby Suns Myspace Page for more idea of where the band are at these days, e.g., touring the US at the mo). I offer up this little nugget from the past merely as a nice piece of nostalgia ... (please don't use the pronounciation as any sort of guide to Japanese - it'd be like learning English from a Guitar Wolf track) ... here ya go:

The Ruby Suns - Michi Ni Mayoimashita

The Axemen

Dam it. They have to play a reunion show when I'm away. This post I suppose won't be helpful in anyway to bringing anyone along to their Ambassador show seeing it was two days ago but I'll write one anyway. A friend showed me this great footage of the Axemen the other week. I had a copy of their flying nun release Peter Wang Pud and though I find the production on it doesn't lend itself to repeated listens I've always been a fan of writers Bob Cardy (Shaft) and Little Stevie McCabe.
Anyway thought it might be of interest to any Shaft enthusiasts to see this footage. Check out the original versions of 'Woman of Love' and 'Pacific Ocean'.

Axemen on Myspace